Internet Dating... Has The Taboo Turned Tool?
By Nykeya Woods
Nearly 16 million people have ventured into the often-thought taboo world of Internet dating with some spending more $230 per year with hopes of meeting the ideal mate at sites like eharmony.com, match.com or chemistry.com.
With such a large number of people looking to hook up for more than just a sexual encounter or flirting, odds of finding someone are good. That’s exactly how 26-year-old Joe Robinson met his current girlfriend.
“I was hoping to find a lovely, charming girlfriend [online] and I did,” Robinson said. Robinson said that for nearly six months, he had been surfing the Internet. “I was looking for love, and frustrated by the limited opportunities that the real world provides.”
Robinson thinks people need to get over the stigma associated with Internet dating.
“I would recommend it strongly. I believe it takes a lot of the chance out of dating. It exposes you to a greater number of potential partners, thereby reducing the degree to which we're forced to compromise what we're looking for,” he said.
Despite Robinson’s good luck, he said a friend starting dating a man she met through a site and later learned that he was married. This is one of the reasons Ava Whaley approached Harper College in Illinois about offering a one-day evening class about Internet dating. She said that she wants people to be smart and learn how to avoid the married man, among other things.
Since 2006, Whaley has been educating people about how to be proactive when it comes to Internet dating and has had to expand her class, “Online Dating: Be Safe, Be Smart, Be Successful” to include a group session in April.
“I had been online for two years off and on and made a lot of mistakes. There was no guide to Internet dating for me,” Whaley, who met her current husband online, said. “Since I was successful I felt I could teach other people how to be successful.”
Her class, which has had students up to 70 years old, teaches people how to attract the mate they want. She says that people need to make a top 10 list of attributes in terms of importance and be willing to compromise on only a few things. She also suggests that once you find a match meet face to face within a week.
“Take it offline as soon as possible the longer it stays online the more disappointing it will be,” she said.
There are signs that people should look out for.
Be honest. If you like your personality, your smile or your eyes, no doubt someone else will. Post a picture of yourself that is clear. Also be honest about what you’re looking for in a relationship.
Research the site your interested in joining. There are tons of options that cater to ethnicity, hobbies or spiritual beliefs, just to name a few.
Uh-Oh with a Side-Eye Look. Signs he may be married could include no picture with profile, “separated” as relationship status or difficulty setting up a meeting time. Those who only want to meet during the week and avoid holidays and weekend plans could be married. Also look out for those pushing for a sexual relationship quickly.
Whaley said that if you are planning to only use one site, sign up with a large site that will increase the chance of finding multiple matches.